Books to Check Out

Thursday, February 17, 2011

I've recently heard about two new books published by Hazeldon, a publishing house specializing in resources for people working on personal healing and recovery. Take a look at these titles and their descriptions, which I've quoted from Hazelden's website:

 
"Do you take on the feelings of others around you? Or do you expect others to absorb yours? Is it important to be in synch? No says Dr. Allen Berger, author of 12 Smart Things to Do When the Booze and Drugs are Gone."












"1000 Years of Sobriety: 20 People x 50 Years by William G. Borchert and Michael Fitzpatrick. 1000 Years of Sobriety features the moving personal accounts of twenty men and women who have each remained sober for more than fifty years. These are the real 'old timers,' keepers of the wisdom, men and women from around the world who are among the dwindling generations who joined Alcoholics Anonymous when Bill W. was still alive, and whose very commitment to sobriety is a testament to the enduring power of the program."

 
 
 
 
Of course, there are as many paths to well-being as there are people. The beauty of recovery, healing, and personal growth lies in the strength and hope each of us possesses...and in the help offered by those around us. Hazelden is one such helping hand.
 
If you'd like to find other helping hands, you could:

• check the list of topics on this blog (right-hand column) to read other posts about a topic of interest to you
• borrow a book from the library or a friend
• write in a journal
• talk to someone you trust
• listen to what your gut tells you
• ...and so much more.

I wish you well for today and every day!

July - Warmth & Well-being for 31 Days

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Today is Canada Day for me and just about Independence Day for Americans. As I've said in other first-of-the-month columns this year, I have mixed feelings about some holidays. However, I am grateful to live in this country. Canada is, of course, not perfect, but Canadians enjoy many freedoms and opportunities. I feel grateful to live here. It is the land of my heart, though not the land of my birth.

So, as I begin a new month with thoughts of gratitude and celebration, I offer these other July observances for your consideration:





Freedom From Fear Of Speaking Day - July 2

For many who have been abused, neglected or otherwise discounted, it can be very difficult to speak up. So much of what I believe in and write about has to do with undoing degrading messages. One part of this undoing is starting to speak up for yourself. As with many personal changes you choose to make, you might find this one easier to kick-start with small changes. Say "no" when asked to do a chore you really do not want to do. Don't just go along with the crowd that does something you disagree with. Tell someone you trust how you really feel about a difficult topic or decision. On July 2 give yourself the challenge and the chance to speak up and speak out.

Take Charge Of Change Week - July 9-15

Click on this link, OnlineOrganizing.com, to find tips and resources for making change in various aspects of life.

Toss Away The "Could Haves" and "Should Haves" Day - July 15

Here is another great chance to change your thinking about yourself. For this one day, July 15, remind yourself not to say or even think the words "could have" and "should have." These words are so loaded with shame, guilt, blame and regret. What's more, the words and the thinking behind them drain away the energy you could be using to stay in the moment, to feel, act and think positively.

World Youth Day - July 15

See my comments below about National Make a Difference to a Child Month. Honour the young people you know and encounter. Be willing to drop your assumptions about them. Encourage their questions and support their efforts. Love them, respect them, enjoy them.

Parent's Day - 4th Sunday of every July

Visit the American National Parents' Day website at http://www.parentsday.com 

Mental Illness Awareness Month

Social Wellness Month

Purposeful Parenting Month

Family Reunion Month

National Make a Difference to Children Month

The other day I wrote about Dr. Gabor Maté, a physician working with addicts in Vancouver's Downtown Eastside. Maté states that every female and many of the males he has worked with who have serious addictions were abused as children. I have seen the same correlation between childhood trauma and addiction. So please, please make a difference to one child this month (for starters). Speak out against childhood sexual abuse. Learn how to spot the symptoms of abuse. Love the children in your sphere by offering them consistent care, respect, smiles and safety. Be a trustworthy, safe adult so children have someone to go to with their struggles and questions. DO NOT SHAME CHILDREN. Don't laugh at them when they make mistakes or do something differently than you think it should be done. Allow for individuality and teach them solid practices. Don't guilt or coerce them into compliance. Do what you say you will do. Make a difference to the children around you.

Helpful Resources

Thursday, June 17, 2010

I will periodically tell you about valuable resources for relationships, personal growth, and healing. One such resource is New Harbinger Publications, the house that published the book I co-wrote with one of my brothers, Bill Klatte. Our book is entitled It's So Hard to Love You -- Staying Sane When Your Loved One is Manipulative, Needy, Dishonest, or Addicted and offers help to anyone dealing with troubled, troubling, or troublesome loved ones.

New Harbinger was a perfect fit for us because they specialize in books that offer help with communication, personal growth, healing, physical and mental wellness, relationships, and so on.

Their solid publishing reputation is demonstrated in this tiny sampling of their titles:

• Relationship Saboteurs -- Overcoming the Ten Behaviors that Undermine Love, by Randi Gunther Ph.D.
• Fearless Job Hunting -- Powerful Psychological Strategies for Getting the Job You Want, by Bill J. Knaus Ed.D., Sam Klarreich Ph.D., Russell Grieger Ph.D., Nancy Knaus Ph.D.
• 10 Simple Solutions to Panic, by Randi E. McCabe Ph.D., Martin M. Antony Ph.D.
• Visualize Confidence, by Kirwan Rockefeller Ph.D.
• ACT with Love, by Russ Harris MD
• Messages, by Matthew McKay Ph.D., Martha Davis Ph.D., Patrick Fanning
• A Woman's Addiction Workbook, by Lisa Najavits
• Caring for Your Grieving Child, Martha Wakenshaw
• The Anger Workbook for Teens, by Raychelle Cassada Lohmann MS, LPC 

I encourage you to check out New Harbinger's extensive catalogue. You may very well find something helpful for yourself or someone else.

May You Celebrate!

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

A great many people must pull out all the stops once spring truly arrives. How do I know this? Well, aside from my own experiences with springtime bliss, there's the incredible number of observances and celebrations that take place in the month of May! After I excluded those which don't in some way apply to relationships, healing or personal growth (plus the irresistibly quirky one or two, plus those that apply to books and writing), I'm still left with over thirty celebrations for the month. Amazing.

Though I'm a little late getting this posted, here's part of the short list of celebrations and observances for the month of May. May you observe them with solemnity or joy or whatever sort of honour you wish to bestow. Click on the links below to learn more.

• Mental Health Week in Canada:  Click here to play a brief public service announcement about Canadian Mental Health Week.
• Mental Health Month in the U. S.: "Mental Health America continues its tradition to celebrate "May is Mental Health Month" which began in 1949. This year, our theme "Live Your Life Well" challenges us to promote whole health and wellness in homes, communities, schools, and inform those who don't believe it's attainable."
• Older Americans Month: "The mission of AoA is to develop a comprehensive, coordinated and cost-effective system of home and community-based services that helps elderly individuals maintain their health and independence in their homes and communities."
• Heal The Children Month:  "To encourage survivors of childhood abuse and neglect to speak out. By revealing their painful experiences, they can inspire others to prevent children from suffering the same ordeals."
• Meditation Month: Check out this page of links where you can learn more. 
• National Foster Care Month
• National Teen Self-Esteem Month
• Family Wellness Month

It seems a particular shame that I was late with the May observances, because May 1 was Stepmothers Day, at least in 2006, when I was as much a stepmother as I am now. I like the idea of there being a special day for stepmothers. Even the wicked deserve a break now and then.

Three other special days I missed on May 1 are Loyalty Day, School Principals Day and...wait for it... Join Hands Day. I hope you joined hands with somebody on Saturday. But it's not too late. You could do so today, too.

To finish off, I encourage you to pat a puppy or enjoy an elephant this week during Be Kind to Animals Week, from May 2-8. And it's definitely not too late to show your gratitude to somebody's teacher from May 2-8, because this is also Teacher Appreciation Week. While you're at it, please, please celebrate this: Get Caught Reading Month.

So, I urge you to celebrate, congratulate and appreciate this month. It's a great time of the year to do them all.

Flower Power

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

This is not a post about hippie Flower Power (though I did mention having been a hippie in a recent blog post).

No, today I'm writing about the wonderful power of flowers to cheer us up, wake us up and just generally help us feel better.

On a website called aboutflowers, I found a number of scientific surveys that show how beneficial cut flowers are when displayed in our homes and workplaces. Few people need to be told by scientists that fresh flowers look beautiful and cheerful, whether we've received them as a gift or have cut them ourselves from roadside fields or our own gardens.

However, this research shows that flowers don't offer only pleasing colours and scents. Cut flowers have also been shown to affect our emotional and mental selves. They can:

• decrease anxiety and depression
• help non-morning people wake up more happily and fully
• improve social interactions
• increase a general sense of well-being and satisfaction
• enhance intimate relationships
• foster creativity
• increase productivity
• improve learning
• decrease stress

So do yourself or somebody else a favour. Roam through a field or flowershop. Plant a windowbox. Buy a flowering plant for the kitchen table.

What a simple way for everyone to win.

10 Ways to Celebrate in February

Monday, February 1, 2010

In January I wrote about a number of monthly, weekly, and daily observations I'd discovered. I plan to continue marking these days each month, mostly for fun. By the same token, reminders about some of these might be just the ticket for anyone who wants to live more mindfully. Maybe you can enhance your quality of life, or someone else's, by observing one of these:

• International Boost Self-Esteem Month -- Do you know how wonderful you are?
• Relationship Wellness Month -- Cozy up to the fire, or go ice fishing, or bundle up and take a walk together. February strikes me as a great time to hunker down and sort out a problem together or focus on each other.
• National Time Management Month -- You have a new calendar; find new ways to use it that will help you stay on top of things this year.
• Library Lovers Month -- You could mark this one by taking a little gift to your librarian or putting in some volunteer hours. And while you're at it, give some thought to:
• Children's Authors and Illustrators Week February 1-8
• Plant The Seeds Of Greatness Month -- What a splendid idea!
• Spiritual Teachers Month
• National Laugh-Friendly Month -- Ha!
• Spunky Old Broads Month -- Custom made for me.

And last, but I promise not least: Hoola in the Coola Month! Please, somebody celebrate that and let me know how it went.

Mark Your Calendar -- January

January 7, 2010

In all times and in all places, humans love to mark and celebrate special times, events, people, even things. I enjoy the celebratory nature of birthdays and some holidays. Like many people, however, I'm less impressed with the commercialization of them. But as in all things, we have a choice in what we do and how we do it. To that end, (but mainly for fun) I've been compiling a list of days, weeks and months that have been marked -- by someone, at some point in time. Some of them seem like a bit of a stretch, but what the heck.

The list is extraordinarily long, so I'll only include observations that relate to this blog -- relationships, healing, growth and writing. Well, and a few others that bear repeating, such as the Oatmeal, Tea and Soup observances, which I just think are cool. Try searching the Internet for information on any that intrigue you.

For January, I've found numerous observances, including one called "International Quality of Life Month." I don't know who came up with the day or why they established it, but I think a month of appreciating one's quality of life is a great idea. My other personal favourites for January are:

• Book Blitz Month
• Be On-Purpose Month
• Celebration of Life Month
• International Creativity Month
• Get Organized Month
• National Mentoring Month
• Oatmeal Month
• National Hot Tea Month
• National Soup Month (The sponsor of this one won't come as a surprise.)

To finish off, consider observing the following at work, home and school. We're still within the boundaries of both weeks, so there's time...

• National Thank Your Customers Week, January 4-8
• Women's Self-empowerment Week, January 4-10

I've found several sources for this information. The two sources I'll mention are an American and a Canadian site, respectively:

1. "Chase's Calendar of Events today is the most comprehensive and authoritative reference available on special [world-wide] events, holidays, federal and state observances, historic anniversaries and more. Each spring, thousands of new entries are submitted to join the more than 12,000 items that make up each year's book. Each event listing (where applicable) contains contact and mailing information. There is no charge to be listed in Chase's. Each new edition appears in late September preceding the year in question."
2. Work Smart. Live Smart., a site in which Canadian "stress speaker and wellness specialist, Beverly Beuermann-King, CSP, translates current research and best practices information into a realistic, accessible and practical approach through her dynamic stress and wellness workshops, on-line stress and wellness articles, e-newsletters and media interviews."

So, take a break from the mundane. Be creative. Find and honour a mentor. Become a mentor. Empower yourself and thank your customers, right after you've fortified  yourself with porridge and a cup of something warm. Celebrate life in your own way.