Head + Heart + Hands + Feet = Action

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Thousands of studies have shown that childhood abuse in its many forms – sexual, other physical, verbal, emotional, spiritual – often, often contributes to, develops and/or erupts into these results:

• children and teenagers running away
• suicide ideation, attempts and success
• self-harm through cutting and addictions, for example
• harming others
• being abused and assaulted in adulthood
• difficulty learning
• poverty
• physical illness
• incarceration
• repeated unsuccessful or harmful relationships
• risk-taking behaviour
• promiscuity

All this research is useful head work, but when society -- that's you and me -- denies and ignores the truth of these conclusions, more babies get raped, more girls and boys are tormented, more teens cut and burn and drug themselves, more people get beaten, more people commit suicide and commit crimes.

The abuse of children, teens and adults is wrong. Period. You and I can do something. Period. I encourage you to join your head to your heart, hands and feet.

Learn about abuse. Feel something. Do something.

• Read a book, such as:
• The Courage to Heal 4e: A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse 20th Anniversary Edition by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis. Harper Paperbacks. 2008. 
• It Happened to Me: A Teen's Guide to Overcoming Sexual Abuse (workbook for male and female young adults) by William Lee Carter. New Harbinger Publications. 2002.
• Victims No Longer: The Classic Guide for Men Recovering from Sexual Child Abuse by Mike Lew. Harper Paperbacks. 2004.
• Check these websites:
• The Shelternet website "was created to provide reliable and up-to-date information for abused women, their family, friends, and colleagues in Canada."
• The American Academy of Experts in Traumatic Stress
• Child Abuse: Statistics, Research and Resources, a British website.
• Pandora's Project, "Support and resources for survivors of rape and sexual abuse."
• Volunteer at a:
• women's shelter
• adult literacy program
• youth detention centre
• prison
• community recreation program
• Listen to your friend, neighbour, co-worker or relative when he or she tells you about abuse. Learn how to help.
• Read the posts about abuse that I've posted in this blog to date, or search the terms "abuse" and "sexual abuse" for other information.
• Organize or attend observances such as Canada's National Day Of Remembrance And Action On Violence Against Women and worldwide Take Back the Night events.

You can, truly, do something to help. Learn in your head, feel in your heart, move your hands and feet; it's not really so hard, and the benefits are immeasurable but real.

Word Wonder -- alone

1. Without company; solitary. To live alone

[From the Middle English word al one, meaning "solitary." The word "solitary" comes from the Latin word solus, which means "alone."] - Funk & Wagnalls Canadian College Dictionary

The words "alone" and "solitary" are so interwoven and laden with negative meanings that some people feel panicky at the very thought of being alone. Such fears can come from childhood trauma, personality traits, addictions, depression, and so on. Being alone is sometimes tied to feelings of not being safe, of being vulnerable, or of punishment, as in solitary confinement. It's also tied to beliefs that if we are alone, we must be less valuable than others who "have someone."

But look again at the definition of "alone." It simply means solitary, which means "living, being, or going alone." It does not have to mean "lonely," "lonesome," or "less than." Such ideas have been piled on top of these words...but you don't have to accept old definitions.

You can redefine your ideas about being alone. In fact, most of us need time alone to recharge, to get to know ourselves, to rest. You can choose your own definitions for words and for your life.