Family Day in Canada -- yesterday

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Yesterday we celebrated Family Day in Canada. This statutory holiday was first observed here in February 2008. It always falls on the third Monday of February. My first thought  at the time -- my jaded, pessimistic first thought -- was that this would be just another opportunity for Hallmark to make a bunch of money. I didn't object to a mid-winter break; a three-day weekend is rarely a bad thing.

But the negative little corner of my mind has had a pleasant surprise this year. I've heard from a number of people that they did actually use the day to do something special with family. They played with their kids. They visited an estranged fathers and grandfathers. They got together for games and other fun. What refreshing news! In our family, I put on a big feast for our gang, and though it needed to be on Saturday, I still thought of it as our Family Day celebration.

So I've learned a little lesson here. Although, of course, most of us would hope we'd love and enjoy our families every day of the year, setting aside a special day does seem to have drawn attention to that hope. I'm so happy many people took the friendly reminder/opportunity to focus on their loved ones, to heal old rifts, to have some fun together.

I feel certain that such positive actions have ripple affects, some of which we may never see ourselves. But to me that's just fine. Love and fun and laughter and forgiveness carry their own wonderful energy. I don't have to understand it. I don't have to control it. I don't even have to do it.

But I'd rather do love, fun, laughter, and forgiveness than their opposites. So, Happy Today. Fill it up with some good stuff, and the ripples will bubble away from the centre of you to who knows where.....

A Perfect 10

Sunday, October 10, 2010 (10-10-10...cool -- and no mistake)

The other day I wrote a post thinking it was October 10. I'm not sure what calendar I was looking at, but it sure wasn't the right one.

So today is the tenth day of the tenth month of the tenth year in the century, and I just think things like that are neat. One time I woke up at 4:44 a.m. and had a powerful experience, and that time has stayed in my mind as special ever since.

My parents were married on 4-6-46, which makes it easy to remember their anniversary. I don't know if I was a numerologist in a former life or something, but numeric neatness is fun to me.

These little oddities make us more interesting, in my opinion. Sometimes others think we're weird because of them, but that's okay. They probably do something weird, too...which can make them more interesting, as well.

So take a look at yourself and those around you. What little quirks do you find? Do you find them to be annoying? Funny? Cool? I recommend enjoying the little oddities. They're the gag-candles that won't go out on the birthday cake, the whoopie in your cushion.

Have some fun! Grab onto your oddities and have a giggle. Life's too interesting to let it get boring.

Stoptimism

Thursday, March 18, 2010

This morning I was moving around pretty early, trying not to wake anybody up. As I'm on crutches, that's a tad difficult because they click and clatter with every step I take. A thought popped into my head from the other day: instead of having to tip-toe around, I have to "tip-crutch."

This early morning smile made me think of how often people find ways to smile, even laugh in the face of challenges, adversity and just plain horror. Then I thought of how often we pretend we're doing okay when we're actually not. We have many sayings that encourage us to do that:

• Look on the bright side.
• Keep a stiff upper lip.
• Every cloud has a silver lining.
• Yep, I'm fine. I'm keeping busy.
• It could be worse.

The trouble with such sayings is that they often encourage us to bypass an important step when we're dealing with troubles -- that of facing and accepting the fact that we are human and that we have feelings for a reason. Feelings serve as a signal that lets us know something needs to be dealt with.

Sometimes people don't want to, or don't know how to, feel what they feel and accept their emotions as normal, okay and part of the situation. I call it "stoptimism." Don't feel, don't give yourself time to adjust, don't deal yourself a break. Just stop feeling, stop "feeling sorry for yourself" and stop  those nasty tears before they escape. Pretend you're alright and that things are fine. Well, like it or not, it's pretty hard to actually get better unless we let ourselves feel what we actually feel.

I heard a line somewhere: "Smile, and the world smiles with you. Cry, and you cry alone." Not a great incentive for honesty.

Life is a balancing act. Sometimes for a while, we might have to pretend, fake it 'til we make it, get up and get on with it. But we also have to allow ourselves to feel and express our sadness, shock, anger and confusion. The problem with a lot of pretending is that we're often pretending with ourselves, as well as with the rest of the world.

So, get real. Get some help. Get some sleep and a decent meal. Get used to the fact that you might not feel 100% all the time, at least for a while....and that that's okay. It's sometimes part of the ride.

Quit practicing stoptimism and opt for realism. Then a little joke just might manage to make you truly laugh and get on with it. Here are some responses you might consider to those platitudes I listed above:

• Look on the bright side. (Can't find my sunglasses.)
• Keep a stiff upper lip. (Makes it hard to brush my teeth, let alone smile.)
• Every cloud has a silver lining. (So why don't I feel any richer?)
• Yep, I'm fine. I'm keeping busy. (Take the u and the y out of busy. What's left?)
• It could be worse. (Of course it could, but right now it feels lousy.)

For myself, I've acknowledged that my knee hurts every day, and I'm sick of these crutches, after needing them for over two months (with the light at the end of the tunnel being the size of a pin prick). I've felt and expressed my frustration and concern. So now I'm back to the humour part. As I often say, if ya can't laugh, ya might as well dance.

Well, okay, maybe that one doesn't work. But, still...you get the idea.

10 Ways to Celebrate in February

Monday, February 1, 2010

In January I wrote about a number of monthly, weekly, and daily observations I'd discovered. I plan to continue marking these days each month, mostly for fun. By the same token, reminders about some of these might be just the ticket for anyone who wants to live more mindfully. Maybe you can enhance your quality of life, or someone else's, by observing one of these:

• International Boost Self-Esteem Month -- Do you know how wonderful you are?
• Relationship Wellness Month -- Cozy up to the fire, or go ice fishing, or bundle up and take a walk together. February strikes me as a great time to hunker down and sort out a problem together or focus on each other.
• National Time Management Month -- You have a new calendar; find new ways to use it that will help you stay on top of things this year.
• Library Lovers Month -- You could mark this one by taking a little gift to your librarian or putting in some volunteer hours. And while you're at it, give some thought to:
• Children's Authors and Illustrators Week February 1-8
• Plant The Seeds Of Greatness Month -- What a splendid idea!
• Spiritual Teachers Month
• National Laugh-Friendly Month -- Ha!
• Spunky Old Broads Month -- Custom made for me.

And last, but I promise not least: Hoola in the Coola Month! Please, somebody celebrate that and let me know how it went.