Word Wonder -- willingness

Friday, February 19, 2010
1. Having the mind favourably inclined or disposed. 3 Gladly proffered or done; hearty.


[From the Old English word for will -- willa, which comes from the ancient Indo-European root wer-, meaning to wish or to will.] - Funk & Wagnall's Canadian College Dictionary and Merriam Webster's Collegiate Dicitonary, Tenth Edition

Is there something in your life that isn't going the way you want? Do you feel disappointed or frustrated by people and events? Maybe you don't know how to make things different, or maybe you don't want to make things different. Perhaps your situation has already changed, and you cannot put life back the way it was.

Well, the uncomfortable truth is that whether you want to make changes or have had them forced upon you, your best bet for serenity is to change yourself -- your thoughts, your actions, your words. You'll be wasting a lot of valuable energy and time if you try to change other people or ignore and resent new circumstances. Like the ancients, your willa, your willingness, is your best tool for moving forward.

At this point you have a choice. You can either leave things the way they are and deal with the problems as they are, or you can risk making a change and deal with the new situation as it develops. If you decide, even slightly, to move in a new direction, here's a useful "trick" that can help you get over the hump. It can help you have a mind that is "favourably inclined" to the needed change.

Make a time and place where you can think and be quiet for a few minutes; this won't take long. Think about your resistance to the change. Maybe you feel angry or resentful about it. You might very well feel afraid, since fear and nervousness are usual reactions to change.

Now, see if you can find even a tiny, small sliver of willingness inside yourself. You might think, "Well, I don't like this at all, but I guess I'm willing to consider that I might feel better about it someday." Even being willing to be willing to be willing is enough to get you going. Ignore any pressure you feel to do this in a certain way or at a certain time. Just acknowledge that somewhere inside yourself, you're willing to be willing to be willing to change a tiny bit at some point in time. Then let go of your "shoulds" and "have-to thinking," knowing you have made a great start in getting unstuck or accepting the inevitable.

Now, every once in a while, notice and nurture that small willingness you've found. You might discover that in time, your willingness will grow and your resistance will diminish. Maybe your willingness will even be "gladly proffered" with a hearty openness. You just never know.

Word Wonder -- kind

Friday, January 22, 2010

1. Gentle and considerate in behavior; goodhearted; benign. Archaic affectionate; loving. 4. Obsolete Natural; appropriate; lawful.  [from the Old English word gecynde]

1. A class or grouping; type; variety. 2. The distinguishing nature or character of something. 3. Obsolete Nature in general; the ordained and proper order of things. [from the Old English word gecynd]
- Funk & Wagnalls Canadian College Dictionary

The word "kind" and its many relatives came from the Old English words gecynde and gecynd, two virtually identical descendants of the ancient Indo-European root, genə-. The root "genə-" means "to give birth or to beget." Many of the words that derive from this root have to do with procreation and with family and tribal groups: gender, general, generate, generic, genesis, genital, genius, genre, gentle, genuine, genus, germ, germinate, ingenious, innate, kin, king, natal, nation, native, nature, nee, noel, pregnant. Quite a list!
- Dictionary of the English Language

Notice that the dictionary entries above give several archaic and obsolete uses of the word "kind": affectionate, loving, natural, appropriate, lawful, nature in general, and the ordained and proper order of things. These older uses of the word provide a bridge from our modern understanding of "kind" back to the original meanings having to do with procreation, family, and the tribe.

This investigation of the word "kind" took me much deeper than just the academic examination of words and roots. It engendered images in my mind of ancient people living together in their family and tribal groups. Doing my best to go beyond sentiment and the visuals portrayed in Hollywood movies, I probed within myself for the feelings and facts of everyday life back then -- the requirement that families stick together and that tribes grow stronger by having children and staying close to kin who could be relied upon to protect and nurture. The root, genə-, implies that people have always seen the need for not only physical survival but emotional connection, as well.

They would have seen animals caring for their young. They would have witnessed birth, death, and regeneration and would have known they were part of it all. Genə- would have been a basic concept of everyday life. And so their languages, which developed out of everyday life, also shaped everyday life. Today we are the same-- part of birth and death cycles, shaping language and daily activities to meet our needs and the needs of those around us.

Most people value being part of a group, whether it's their family, a club or church, or a larger community or culture. Yet many, many people do not feel they belong anywhere. Whether we face our "own kind," whatever that means to each of us, or we face "others," we can choose to see the connections of genə-, of begetting and being kind and gentle, of the natural order of our connection to one another.